What we say Impacts our daughter.
You see, back when my firstborn daughter hit her tweens she started fretting about body image issues. Ugh, I thought oh lord are we really here already. At first, I blamed social media, tv shows, movies all things. Then I blamed myself. I started to think about all the messages I may have given her without actually knowing I was doing it.
Did she see me trying on a dress that was a little too tight, or ruminating about a slice of cake or the 4 cookies I ate, or did I let it slip "does this make me look fat" I mean my entire life I have been into health and fitness, healthy body talk, healthy foods and regularly taking time to educate my daughters on how to critically think about the choices they make every day and how it impacts them.
So now what do I take her phone and all the social media, tv shows, and movies? or do I dig deeper and have the conversations about me and how I grew up and what my perceptions were when I was her age. Now, no we did not have all the devices back then and that is making this a little bit harder to overcome but teaching them healthy body image habits will free them from social media comparisons and filters.
We also live in an age where people want simple solutions and quick fixes but the only real fix Is to educate and learn new habits. We need to be teaching our girls how to think differently about health and self-worth.
It starts with us the parents. We need to be teaching the girls about food choices, the impact of what we choose, exercise, self-care. In addition to the lessons of my 4 power words Authenticity, letting go, courage, and self-love.
Here is what I started doing and I believe it’s working.
I have a mantra I tell them every day. I’m strong, confident, awesome & Kind and it may have nothing to do with healthy food choices, however, it’s working… working their brain to think in a growth mindset. Create your own mantra.
I started showing them that when we go out to eat we can choose to have a soft drink or dessert. Small little mindset choices. I don’t want to tell them what they can’t eat but how to make better choices each time. I believe that you need to learn how to distinguish between too much of a good thing will not benefit you.
We talk about food as energy and how it helps in their activities. Having them noticed the difference in their performance when they make bad choices vs good choices.
I will say that I have worked on the words I say to myself and when we catch each other saying negative things about our body we give gratitude on what our body can do for us or we have to say 3 things we love about ourselves.
These all seem so little but in the long run, they are teaching the brain to think in a different way. Teaching the girls that there are choices and that those choices do affect you.
Lindsay
