Let’s Talk FAT

Part 1: We are all recovering girls.

Did you know that 40% of elementary school girls monitor their weight? By the time they are tweens 1/2 of girls have engaged in extreme dieting, fasting, vomiting, and the use of laxatives and diet pills.

Yup, that makes you want to just throw up in your mouth! That’s one out of every two girls riding in your carpool rotation.

My question is do girls’ appearance affect their potential? Do you feel like you can become more successful if you feel and look your best? So if we teach you can do anything! Does this mean that how they look also is a huge role in their success?

I’m speaking for myself here and I would say yes! Is it right, no but we all have negative body thoughts from elementary to well into adulthood?

Even as a 42-year-old woman. I still want to look good in a bikini, I still want to take a great selfie, and I still want to look good in a pair of jeans. So it never goes away!

How do we help our girls have negative-positive thoughts about their bodies when we also have those thoughts too.

Here is what I’ve noticed we as adults feel like we are past all of this but in reality, we are not we just know how to somewhat manage our negative body image thoughts and we know how to do something about it.

Go listen to a group of girls talk about their bodies. My daughter asked me to put more focus on this topic and well it’s not because she is super confident in how she looks? It’s because she is also feeling the pressure of perfection and beauty.

So going back to my question above is body image play a role in success? Yes, because when you feel ugly, fat, or not good enough it affects your worthiness, likeability, and potential.

Our culture has made this a thing, a vision that if you are not perfect then you are unloved, lazy, and therefore unsuccessful. I know this is not your daughter! Let me tell you I have 3 girls and they all act pretty confident, but you’re a woman you know the ups and downs. They feel the same thing!

My goal is to be able to teach and mentor these girls before it becomes a thing a dangerous thing. Teach them that we all think the same but how we handle it is taught. I want them to know how the body is much more than a body. It is increasingly a tool for performing, striving, and winning-yet another site where girls' confidence, courage, and authenticity are undermined. The work of empowering girls can't live only above the neck, and parents must not only understand the mind-body connection in girls' lives but also, help them rework it.

That is why I created this! to help you, help your girls.

Body image is the way you see yourself in the mirror.

As girls begin to hit puberty a girl's body changes radically. Weight gain can be sudden and confusing, giving her the impression she has lost control over her body. A slim-hipped, body that once complied with the culture's demands of thinness now gives way to something wider, softer, and thicker. The picture in her mind is now distorted and self-criticism begins. Then they come out of that transition into their “adult body” and it becomes more about how the world sees them and if I’m not perfect then what am I?

“Beauty is the first impression of total success” quoted, Amira, a 17-year-old.

So how do we deal with this? How do we teach them that your body is not a pass-or-fail situation? Because they sure think so! In their eyes, it’s all they have to impact who they will become. So when I say does how they see themselves impact their success they 100% believe that.

They think that being beautiful is their only potential in life and if they don’t feel good about themselves they do not do well in school, activities, friendships, and family, it becomes a spiral of emotions, and that is how I help! Pull them out, teach them how to pull themselves out of the funk!

I’m going to head over to part 2 of this series called How to talk about FAT with your daughter.