The Difference between Self- confidence, and Self-Esteem.

Self-confidence and Self Esteem the difference.

They seem to mean the same thing. However, self-confidence and self-esteem are not the same, and usually, it takes practicing it in a different way with our minds. Typically if you are practicing one of them you are doing the work on the other one. A double whammy!

Self Confidence meaning

Self-confidence is about the level of trust you have in your abilities. How much faith do you have in your ability to rebound? Try new things? Complete tasks? Rise to the occasion? Fear and doubt. Both try to convince you that you don’t have what it takes to move forward. Self-confidence processes these messages and says back, “Oh yeah? Watch me.”

Here are some strategies for building that self-confidence.

1. Being vulnerable is the practice of being open – ripe for rejection and failure, but also prepped for incredible success.

So what does vulnerability have to do with self-confidence?

It’s all about the “what if” A lack of confidence really stems from fear. The less guarded you are to potential rewards and consequences, the more resilient you will become.

But what if you knew that no matter what happened, you’d be able to take care of yourself? You’d be able to bounce back? You’d be able to shake the dirt off and keep moving forward?

That’s self-confidence.

But it takes vulnerability to get there. If you know deep down you are still holding yourself back – then you’ll convince yourself that the consequences you’ve experienced aren’t as bad as they could have been. And the doubt and fear will still linger.

So be OPEN. Prove to yourself you can survive no matter what comes your way.

2. Practice

Again, self-confidence is all about trusting in your own abilities. And to me, practicing is the easiest way to get comfortable with putting yourself out there. The more and more you put your talents to use, the more and more feedback you’ll receive. Some will be constructive feedback (a nice way of saying, “try again”), and some will be reassuring feedback (‘Yes, you did it. Now do it again”).

While perhaps some of us are born with more confidence than others, the important part is to note that confidence can always be gained. And the more you practice, the more confidence you’ll gain over time.

What is Self-esteem

Self-esteem can be viewed as how much we value ourselves or deem ourselves to be worthy as human beings. Instead of relying on the faith or trust (self-confidence), we have in ourselves, self-esteem is a bit more existential. But, to simplify it, we can just ask ourselves, “do I like myself?”

So let’s chat about strategies you can use to strengthen your own self-esteem.

Positive Thinking

Easier said than done, I know.

Some days my self-talk is full of “You’ve got this! Go kick butt! You are KILLING it!” – which can quickly be replaced with “You’re lazy, chunky, and getting old.”

Okay…OUCH.

So while I am throwing this advice at you, know that I’m also working on it on my own.

Positive thinking is *essential* to high self-esteem. If you are constantly berating yourself about not being likable, attractive, successful, smart, athletic, kind, clever, or whatever other insult you can think of – how on earth are you going to be able to forge a positive relationship with yourself?

Thoughts matter. Words matter.

So while you may not believe you are the most athletic person ever (*raises hand*), it’s important not to rail on yourself over it.

Instead, you need to focus on having your own back.

I want to point out that I am not suggesting that you lie to yourself. That’s not authentic, and you won’t be able to ward off negative thoughts when you’re just selling yourself something you don’t believe. You’re smarter than that!

Instead, frame it nicely.

So, back to the athletic comment.

I am not athletic.

Never have been, never will be.

But I still exercise because I’m supposed to. So instead of getting down on myself about never being high on the leaderboard on Peloton (I swear to GOD there are Olympians using this service) – I celebrate my effort.

I tell myself that I’m amazing because I’m NOT athletic, and this is MUCH HARDER for me than it is for others, but HEY – I’m doing it.

So don’t lie to yourself, but find ways to celebrate yourself.

Self-Care

You need to feel important in order to have self-esteem, let’s dive into self-care.

This, just like positive self-talk, I am convinced it’s essential to have high self-esteem.

Here’s why.

We value things we invest in.

We value the stupid plants we buy and bring home, mostly because we water them every day (or try to). We value the shows we watch because we spend an hour watching them weekly. We value things we buy because we worked for the money in order to do so.

When we put money, effort, time, or love into things – we value them.

So what happens if we put zero money, effort, time, or love into ourselves?

It’s not a pretty picture.

Self-care is necessary for SO many things in life, including achievement, healthy relationships, mood, energy, healthy eating habits, and so much more. I truly believe that having a good healthy dose of self-confidence and self-esteem helps you with your self-care. Because when we feel good we are able to fill someone else bucket which in turn fills your bucket.

Coming soon is how to get rid of negative thoughts.